11 KINDS OF LAWYERS YOU WILL MEET AT NBA AGC

BY CHUKWUEMEKA KENE OKEKE

After several days at the NBA Annual General Conference, I can confidently confirm that these lawyers actually exist.

The First Time Attendee
Easy to spot. Full suit, tie, heels, registration tag properly displayed and conference pack firmly in hand. They want to attend everything and are constantly asking for directions. By Day 3, the tie is gone, the heels have retired, and they are confidently directing other first timers around the venue.
The “I Came for CLE” Lawyer
Sessions bookmarked, speakers researched, notebook ready and questions already prepared. Please, don’t distract them with gist. They came to learn and intend to get full value for their conference fee.
The Networker
You have barely introduced yourself before they ask what area of practice you are into. Within minutes, you have exchanged phone numbers, LinkedIn, Instagram and half your professional history. Some may even collect your contact twice without remembering they met you yesterday.
The Photographer/Content Creator
Every corner is a potential photoshoot location. Green carpet? Picture. NBA logo? Picture. Friendship Centre? Video. Walking into a session? Reel. By the end of AGC, their camera roll has more conference documentation than the organisers.
The Complainer
Nothing is ever quite right. The venue is too far, the food finished, the bus delayed, the session started late, the AC is too cold or not cold enough, and apparently Port Harcourt has too many flyovers. At some point, you wonder whether they registered for the NBA Conference or the Annual General Complaints Meeting.
The Old Friend
“Guy! Is this you?!” One hug and five minutes later, you have covered university, Law School, NYSC, practice, marriage, children and, inevitably, the important question of who has suffered most since being called to the Bar.
The Mami Market Regular
Forget the official programme. Their real conference is happening at Mami Market: food, drinks, shopping, gist and networking. If you cannot find them, don’t bother calling. Just head to Mami Market.
The NBA Politician
Every five steps: “My brother!” “My sister!” “Learned colleague!” “Wonderful seeing you!” You have never met this person before, but somehow you leave feeling like you attended Law School together. AGC may come once a year, but NBA campaign season apparently never ends.
The Unwinder
Sessions? “Which sessions?” But mention dinners, lounges, Friendship Centre, hangouts or after parties and suddenly you are speaking with the official AGC information desk. Legal practice has stressed them enough. They came to unwind, and nothing will interfere with that assignment.
The Microphone Specialist
They have something to contribute at every session. The moderator says, “Please, one minute.” They begin: “Thank you very much. Before I answer the question, permit me to lay a little foundation…” At that point, sit comfortably. That microphone is not coming back anytime soon.
The Unregistered Attendee
No tag. No conference pack. No official programme. Yet they know every shortcut, free refreshment point, interesting session and the exact location of Mami Market. Ask whether they registered and the answer comes with confidence: “I’m just here to observe.” By the end of AGC, they have attended more events, taken more pictures and collected more gist than some fully registered delegates.

And perhaps that is the funniest part of the NBA AGC: by the end of the conference, most of us have become at least two or three of these lawyers.

So tell me, which one were you, and which ones did you meet?

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